Dowcipy o Polakach po angielsku (krótkie zagadki)
| 17.12.2010 | Autor: Łukasz Matuszewski | [ 1 komentarz ] |
- Wybierasz się do Polski?
- Zarezerwuj hotel w Polsce
- Wynajmij samochód w Polsce
- Podobne tematy:
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- Przedszkola w Hiszpanii lepsze niż te w Polsce?
- Great Writer (dowcip)
- Polska - inne artykuły:
- Studia europejskie na najwyższym poziomie - Kolegium Europejskie
- Zostań specjalistą ds. innowacji - zapraszamy na szkolenie!
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Dla nas nieco mało przyjemne, często niesprawiedliwe i stereotypowe (jak to dowcipy), ale z pewnością warto wiedzieć w jaki sposób w Anglii i USA nabijają się z Polaków :)
Q: What do you do if a Polish tank is coming at you?
A: Shoot the guys pushing it.
Q: What do you do if a Polack throws a grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: Who was Alexander Graham Bellski?
A: The first telephone Pole.
Q: How do you get a Polack out of a bathtub?
A: Turn on the water.
Q: Why did the Polack cut a hole in the rug?
A: He wanted to see the floor show.
Q: What's the name of the world's thinnest book?
A: "History Of Polish Culture"
Q: Where do you buy panties made out of fertilizer bags and bras made out
of beer cans?
A: Frederick's Of Poland.
Q: How come Polacks never make Kool-Aid?
A: They can't figure out how to get a quart of water into the envelope.
Q: What is the most difficult decision a Polack must make when he is invited
to a formal party?
A: Whether to wear his green socks or his red socks.
Q: What's the difference between the Polish Mafia and the Italian Mafia?
A: The Italian Mafia makes you an offer you can't refuse. The Polish Mafia
makes you an offer you can't understand.
Q: Why does a Polack need two hands to drink a bowl of soup?
A: He has to hold one hand under the fork to catch the drippings.
Q: What is the first thing you learn from a Polish piano teacher?
A: How to move the piano.
Q: Why do Polacks make the best astronauts?
A: Because they took up space in school.
Q: Why do they play on artificial turf in Poland?
A: To keep the cheerleaders from grazing.
Q: Why don't Polacks eat M & Ms?
A: They have a hard time peeling them.
Q: What's the most useless thing on a Polish woman's body?
A: A Polish man.
Q: Why don't they use the 911 system in Poland?
A: Polacks can't find 11 on their phones.
Q: How do you break a Polack's fingers?
A: Hit him in the nose.
Q: Why do they paint the garbage cans orange in Poland?
A: So the Polacks think they're eating at Howard Johnsons.
Q: How do you ruin a Polish party?
A: Flush the punch bowl.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Polack with a Chicano?
A: A kid who spray paints his name on a chain link fence.
Q: Why don't they give Polacks more than a half hour for lunch?
A: They don't want to retrain them.
Q; Why does the Polish Navy have glass bottomed boats?
A: So they can see the old navy.
Q: What's green and flies over Poland?
A: Peter Panski.
Q: What do you call a Pole with 1500 girlfriends.
A: A shepherd.
Q: What happens when a Pole doesn't pay his garbage bill?
A: They stop delivering.
Q: Why did the Polack snort Nutra-Sweet?
A: He thought it was Diet Coke.
Q: Why do Polish boys have snubbed noses?
A: From chasing parked cars.
Q: What is Poland's most popular perfume?
A: Evening In Armpit.
Q: What is the Polish section of Paris called?
A: Pig Alley.
Q: How do Polish girls protect themselves from peeping toms?
A: They keep the shades up.
Q: Why did William Tell refuse to do his world famous act in Poland?
A: Because he couldn't find a kid with a head as large as his apple.
Q: Who loses at the Annual Polish Fathers And Sons Football Game?
A: The Blue Cross.
Q: What is the best thing that ever came over from Poland?
A: An empty boat.
Q: What flies around Poland with a black umbrella?
A: Mary Poppinski.
Q: If a dog is a man's best friend, who is a dog's best friend?
A: A Pole.
Q: How can you tell if you're about to land in Poland?
A: The stewardess tells you to put on your oxygen mask.
Q: Why did they close the zoo in Warsaw?
A: The duck died.
Q: Did you hear about the Polish lesbian?
A: She loved men.
Q: Did you hear about the Polack who hijacked a garbage truck in Chicago?
A: He put a gun to the driver's head and said, "Take me to Warsaw!"
Q: Did you hear about the Polack who got killed by accident?
A: He bet his friend he could lean farther out of a window and he won the
bet.
Q: Did you hear about the Polish ventriloquist who was so stupid his dummy
quit to find a new partner?
Q: Did you hear about the Polack who went out and bought 4 snow tires?
A: They melted on the way home.
Q: Did you hear about the Polack who lost $50 on the football game?
A: $25 on the game and $25 on the instant replay.
Q: Did you hear about the Polish abortion clinic?
A: It has a year long waiting list.
Q: Did you hear how the Polish hockey team drowned?
A: Spring training.
Q: Did you hear about the Polack who thought Poon Tang was the capital of South
Vietnam?
Q: Did you hear about the Polack terrorist who was told to burn up a bus and
burned his lips on the exhaust pipe?
Q: Did you hear about the pregnant Polish girl who hired a private detective?
A: She wanted him to find out if the baby was really hers.
Q: Did you hear about the Texas Polack who moved to Oklahoma and raised the IQ
level of both states?
Q: Did you hear about the new parachute developed in Poland?
A: It opens on impact!
Q: Did you hear about the Polack who thought Noel Coward was a man afraid of
Christmas?
Did you hear about the Polack who could count to ten?
No.
Would you believe five?
A: Shoot the guys pushing it.
Q: What do you do if a Polack throws a grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: Who was Alexander Graham Bellski?
A: The first telephone Pole.
Q: How do you get a Polack out of a bathtub?
A: Turn on the water.
Q: Why did the Polack cut a hole in the rug?
A: He wanted to see the floor show.
Q: What's the name of the world's thinnest book?
A: "History Of Polish Culture"
Q: Where do you buy panties made out of fertilizer bags and bras made out
of beer cans?
A: Frederick's Of Poland.
Q: How come Polacks never make Kool-Aid?
A: They can't figure out how to get a quart of water into the envelope.
Q: What is the most difficult decision a Polack must make when he is invited
to a formal party?
A: Whether to wear his green socks or his red socks.
Q: What's the difference between the Polish Mafia and the Italian Mafia?
A: The Italian Mafia makes you an offer you can't refuse. The Polish Mafia
makes you an offer you can't understand.
Q: Why does a Polack need two hands to drink a bowl of soup?
A: He has to hold one hand under the fork to catch the drippings.
Q: What is the first thing you learn from a Polish piano teacher?
A: How to move the piano.
Q: Why do Polacks make the best astronauts?
A: Because they took up space in school.
Q: Why do they play on artificial turf in Poland?
A: To keep the cheerleaders from grazing.
Q: Why don't Polacks eat M & Ms?
A: They have a hard time peeling them.
Q: What's the most useless thing on a Polish woman's body?
A: A Polish man.
Q: Why don't they use the 911 system in Poland?
A: Polacks can't find 11 on their phones.
Q: How do you break a Polack's fingers?
A: Hit him in the nose.
Q: Why do they paint the garbage cans orange in Poland?
A: So the Polacks think they're eating at Howard Johnsons.
Q: How do you ruin a Polish party?
A: Flush the punch bowl.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Polack with a Chicano?
A: A kid who spray paints his name on a chain link fence.
Q: Why don't they give Polacks more than a half hour for lunch?
A: They don't want to retrain them.
Q; Why does the Polish Navy have glass bottomed boats?
A: So they can see the old navy.
Q: What's green and flies over Poland?
A: Peter Panski.
Q: What do you call a Pole with 1500 girlfriends.
A: A shepherd.
Q: What happens when a Pole doesn't pay his garbage bill?
A: They stop delivering.
Q: Why did the Polack snort Nutra-Sweet?
A: He thought it was Diet Coke.
Q: Why do Polish boys have snubbed noses?
A: From chasing parked cars.
Q: What is Poland's most popular perfume?
A: Evening In Armpit.
Q: What is the Polish section of Paris called?
A: Pig Alley.
Q: How do Polish girls protect themselves from peeping toms?
A: They keep the shades up.
Q: Why did William Tell refuse to do his world famous act in Poland?
A: Because he couldn't find a kid with a head as large as his apple.
Q: Who loses at the Annual Polish Fathers And Sons Football Game?
A: The Blue Cross.
Q: What is the best thing that ever came over from Poland?
A: An empty boat.
Q: What flies around Poland with a black umbrella?
A: Mary Poppinski.
Q: If a dog is a man's best friend, who is a dog's best friend?
A: A Pole.
Q: How can you tell if you're about to land in Poland?
A: The stewardess tells you to put on your oxygen mask.
Q: Why did they close the zoo in Warsaw?
A: The duck died.
Q: Did you hear about the Polish lesbian?
A: She loved men.
Q: Did you hear about the Polack who hijacked a garbage truck in Chicago?
A: He put a gun to the driver's head and said, "Take me to Warsaw!"
Q: Did you hear about the Polack who got killed by accident?
A: He bet his friend he could lean farther out of a window and he won the
bet.
Q: Did you hear about the Polish ventriloquist who was so stupid his dummy
quit to find a new partner?
Q: Did you hear about the Polack who went out and bought 4 snow tires?
A: They melted on the way home.
Q: Did you hear about the Polack who lost $50 on the football game?
A: $25 on the game and $25 on the instant replay.
Q: Did you hear about the Polish abortion clinic?
A: It has a year long waiting list.
Q: Did you hear how the Polish hockey team drowned?
A: Spring training.
Q: Did you hear about the Polack who thought Poon Tang was the capital of South
Vietnam?
Q: Did you hear about the Polack terrorist who was told to burn up a bus and
burned his lips on the exhaust pipe?
Q: Did you hear about the pregnant Polish girl who hired a private detective?
A: She wanted him to find out if the baby was really hers.
Q: Did you hear about the Texas Polack who moved to Oklahoma and raised the IQ
level of both states?
Q: Did you hear about the new parachute developed in Poland?
A: It opens on impact!
Q: Did you hear about the Polack who thought Noel Coward was a man afraid of
Christmas?
Did you hear about the Polack who could count to ten?
No.
Would you believe five?
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